To My Younger Self

It’s been a few days since I released “Unbridled” and though the promotion is not done yet, I have had some time to reflect on how accomplished I feel. I’m soaking in the happiness so to speak.

At one point I felt like I reverted back to my younger self, writing and drawing on the floor as I watched TV with my mom, dog Georgie Girl, and three cats, Misty, Checkers and Butterscotch. I remember writing my stories on lined paper, drawing my own covers, and then binding them with Elmer’s glue like they were a real book you could pick up in a store and read. Or I would do my own graphic novels, tell a story with pictures from one panel to the next. I still have several of these hand made books. Every once in awhile I get them out and look at them. It’s sad how much the pencil has faded, but I love seeing my old handwriting, my old drawings, and the budding mind of a writer.

tbt-medrawing

A couple of days ago, that little girl’s dream came true. My book is out there… selling!

Does it matter that it’s not traditional publishing? Does it matter that it’s not on a bookshelf in my local library? Not really. I give a lot of thanks to the advanced technological world, the ease of self-publishing, and most of all, the existence of fanfiction culture. If if hadn’t been for the latter, I may NEVER have had the mindset to get this far, to have the connections to encourage me and give me tips over the years, nor would I have gained the accessibility. Utilizing social media and forums and blogging over the years makes self-publishing so much more possible.

I am going to soak a little in the happiness of raw accomplishment. It’s only my first book but personally speaking, I never thought I’d get to this point. I’d been beaten and exhausted from terrible past jobs, challenging mental health periods, stress and dealing with a parent who lost his life to cancer. At one point publishing my own work felt like a pipe dream.

I know it’s ONLY self-publishing, but it’s still something very important to me. Plus, I love the hard work already. I love the engagement. I love the possibilities and the control. I’m a Type A personality and I love my schedules, my organization and my control. This is my heaven.

I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I’ve ended my days this past week with a smile on my face.

I treasure that. So does my younger self. She’s over the moon.

Thanks to everyone who made this possible.

H.K. Rowe

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